Archive for January, 2022

No, We Kent

Friday, January 21st, 2022

It happened.

The Kent State Honors College finally decided to cut out my anxiety and send me the fateful email.

I’m accepted!

Actually, they sent it to me six days before I actually saw it, so it’s on me that I let the uncertainty persist for that long. I thought my radar scanner was in perfect condition—I guess not!

Despite that error, my hard work has paid off, and all my fantasies of exploring Kent’s annals on weekends and participating in the May 4th Task Force feel more concrete. I’m well aware that unexpected roadblocks will appear and unexpected opportunities will arise, but those uncertainties haven’t taken away any of my anticipation. It’s exciting to know that I’m considered a worthy candidate.

I’m still reeling from getting accepted, and I’m finding it genuinely hard to put into words all my pent up ecstasy. All I can say right now is that I’m truly honored to have the opportunity to attend a school with such history and contribute to its community.

Just seven more months.

Got Movie?

Thursday, January 13th, 2022

I saw the movie Shrek for the first time this week—well, part of it, anyway. The other Jungen und Mädchen in my German class voted for it for a post-break movie day and came out on top.

Shrek is one of those pieces of children’s media that is widely considered a staple of my generation’s media consumption, yet it completely passed me by growing up. Ironically, I also watched my first full episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants in the same class at least a year ago. I always knew of these things through cultural osmosis and memery, but I just never watched them either voluntarily or involuntarily, and I probably wouldn’t have watched them voluntarily anyway.

Whenever situations like that come up, I feel like I am an alien field reporter coming down from my satellite, observing Earth and its cultures, gathering information from the locals, trying to process their collective memories surrounding such media. I’ve gotten used to being separated from certain strains of that cultural mind. But it’s interesting gaining a better understanding of whatever comes my way in bits and pieces.

Just don’t shove Disney princess movies down my throat anytime soon.

01/06/2022

Thursday, January 6th, 2022

A year ago today, I did not go to school. Due to our COVID-enforced hybrid schedule, Wednesdays were at-home days where no virtual classes took place.

In our living room, my mother had the news on in anticipation for the televised electoral vote count from the previous year’s election. I was interested to see how the event would play out, as I was well aware that protestors would be at the Capitol insisting that the loss of the previous president to the people’s vote was unjust. I was expecting to laugh at a gaggle of delusional, pathetic fools as one of this country’s final remaining tenets of democracy did its thing.

What I actually ended up seeing was a direct, effective, borderline killer threat to democracy itself.

I was practically glued to my television screen as rioters with their profane chants and absurd displays of red, white, and blue clumped into a boisterous mass eventually powerful enough to seep into the Capitol with very little restraint. I got to see a makeshift militia of brainwashed, blood lusted, homegrown terrorists, ordered by their chosen leader to protect their country by trampling on its foundations, stumble around those supposedly sacred halls of American institution, power-drunk and disgraceful. What did the popular vote matter when these once-marginalized, now-organized morons didn’t get their favorite flavor of Popsicle?

I knew right away that things would never truly be the same again.

The storm was ultimately unsuccessful at actually overthrowing the government. But it threw the doors wide open for those who cannot stand to think that we are all human. It beamed from the rooftops: fight for your belief in lies! Fight for inequality! You can do it! And these signals have worked, based on how many concerned parents have been putting up hands at school board meetings or opting for homeschool because their districts dare to teach children basic truth, or how many people are passing around cups of bleach flavored Kool-Aids about everything under the sun.

A lot of people love to cry “never again” at every big, culture-shattering event before excusing events of similar magnitude that do not negatively effect them or their favorite political pundit. But it’s true: deluding yourself has never been so cool.

Maybe it’s time we stop living in fear of the truth. Maybe.

Twenty Twenty Twenty One Hours Gone

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

Jeez, how did this year go by so fast?

In the midst of the chaos of 2021, it was actually a great year for me on a personal level. I remained dedicated to my studies and hobbies despite a worldwide pandemic and repeated human fallacy telling most people that giving up is the better option; I was able to go out and actually do things after a year indoors, meeting people I have always wanted to meet and going places I have always wanted to go; I started this here blog. I can tell that the person I am has become more mature and more realized, due in no small part to support from all the people I have connected with and the experiences I have had along my way. I’m grateful for all of it, and I know I personally wouldn’t want a do-over…

…even though the world could really use one. If this year proved anything on a major scale, it was that we as humans are all still self-obsessed, anxious, confused little babies with false concepts of freedom and liberty implanted in our heads, acting on our base impulses. Every headline about humans ignoring COVID safety protocol and media pundits taking advantage of ignorance for their own selfish gains has been more agonizing than the last. The Omicron strain doing its very un-sexy thing doesn’t help. I received my booster shot on Monday—and that’s after two jabs and a minor bout with the ‘rona—but I’m still a human. And humans are as resilient as they are fragile.

But then again, every year is its own strain of hell; COVID just made the flames higher and the stupid crap stupider. Being able to recognize that certain things are, at their core, extremely stupid and laughable is a really crucial part of making life somewhat enjoyable. And I sure did a lot of that last year!

So what does this year have in store? For me, it means escape—escape to the college of my choice and a chance to start fresh. It’s the only thing that seems certain when it seems like the ability to do anything exciting is based entirely on how reckless other humans want to act on any given day. It’s hard thinking about the future when things seem so murky. In the meantime I’m trying to follow the advice assorted elders push upon me: savor this time while you still can.

The mask mandates that are repealed or disregarded…the underlying shiftiness of newfound lukewarm winters…the recklessness of humankind on display everywhere from the grocery store to the Facebook feed…the creepy fake ducks I saw in a (most likely man made) pond outside a developed community I drove by last weekend…varying states of growth and regression, evolution and de-evolution…what a weird, fascinating time to savor.

Happy 2022!