Posts Tagged ‘attempts at positivity’

Just Want A Way Not To Be What Gets Sold To Me

Tuesday, March 15th, 2022

Two weekends ago I got the chance to see a show by three of today’s most eye-catching and intriguing bands at Baltimore’s Metro Gallery. In complete contrast, this past weekend, I got the chance to see a group entirely associated with the nineties at the same exact venue.

The former experience was eye opening and, holy crap, oozing fun from all its pores. It ultimately made me feel some solace for our world to see that there’s still people out there bringing fresh creative perspectives to the table. The latter was similarly affirming. Post-hardcore group Jawbox reunited in 2019 after twentysome years of dormancy, but the pandemic put their live schedule on hold. Now, they’re back, and they proved last weekend that they’re just as strong as ever.

Tickets to Jawbox. Sold out show. Let’s go.

I’m lucky I got to go at all, really. I had waken up that morning to discover that my house had been terrorized by about four inches of snow in the middle of March. Somehow, despite the weather’s continued divebombing of my town as the day went on, the roads were cleared up enough by the afternoon to facilitate the drive down to the Metro.

The night opened with an acoustic set by Ken Chambers of indie rock group Moving Targets, who were supposed to perform but had to compromise after a COVID case among their ranks. His set was solid and a welcome escape from the frigid cold outside, and overall it laid a nice primer for the heavier music that followed.

What followed next left me slightly speechless out of pure excitement that I was seeing the mighty Jawbox once and for all. In retrospect, I guess there isn’t too much for me to say about the torrent the Jawbs unleashed on their audience—their blistering performance spoke for itself. Every member of the band was in their full element. To my far right, vocalist and guitarist J. Robbins could have stepped out of a bootlegged video of one of their 90s peak performances with the raw intensity of his presence. Kim Coletta supplied the low end with a monstrous bass tone that rumbled the building as she romped across center stage. Behind her, drummer Zach Barocas’ metronomic skills were tight and powerful, providing the perfect backbone to their herky-jerky post-hardcore compositions. And the group’s most recent addition, rhythm guitarist Brooks Harlan, fit right in amongst the high energies of the rest of the gang.

Their collective sonic attack was very satisfying, to say the least. And had the show attracted a younger crowd—the room was mostly populated of people who I assumed listened to the band in their nineties youths—I’d bet the entire house would’ve been as rowdy as it got the previous week! It was clear they were good to be back.

I’m grateful I got that chance to see such powerful music in such an intimate setting. It goes to show how a group who last gave it their all twentysome years ago can still pack the same punch today. The sounds that they unleashed onto the world back then remain shocking, exciting, and fulfilling. Their relevancy never faded. It’s a shame the world still hasn’t caught up with them and so many others.

It’s a disappointing and grueling reality that groups as sharp as Jawbox’s gnashers constantly get overlooked in favor of much duller selections. But spreading the word and continuing to solder on as they do only helps their cause. Luckily, it looks like they’re keeping up just fine in that regard.

And, besides, it’s a nice escape from everyday banality to let yourself go crazy to “FF-66” from the front and center spot.

Me and Kim
Me and Brooks

They Say The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree, But How Far Does It Roll?

Thursday, March 10th, 2022

I headed down to Baltimore last weekend for yet another concert. The town treated me as well as it always does, even though I had never been in the part of town where the venue, the Metro Gallery, was located, lurking in the shadows of nearby University of Baltimore buildings. Right by the venue is a billboard currently displaying a Lizzo advertisement. Walking past it on the way to the club, I turned around to catch the heavy street graffiti on the back of the clandestine graphic. Once inside, the Gallery revealed itself to be a very efficient space with an intimate atmosphere and a modern sensibility. It’s clean, but not too clean, which kept it from becoming stuck up. It holds art shows as well as concerts, but the creativity of the bands I got to see blurred the line between the two.

The venue
The merch booth

First on stage was New York based collective CG8. I had never heard any of their cacophony before, but I was already familiar with their image: three leggy chicks in daring, D.I.Y. outfits tearing things up, rolling around in wires, and being as carefree as possible. I obviously expected some degree of a good time from them, but what I got ended up soaring beyond any of my expectations, not unlike Barbarella’s space ship. The speakers emitted sounds that were inexplicably alien, tensed-up, and fervorous. I had previously seen their drummer, Chase, at Man On Man’s Riot Fest performance, where her assault on her drum kit was a highlight of the festival weekend. She didn’t let up in Baltimore, either; she pounded away with heart shaking power and precision that has to be felt to be believed, making every song irresistibly infectious in the process. Bassist Lida’s lyrics, which I later read on the inner sleeve of the vinyl record they had for sale at the merch booth, are intelligent and poignant without sacrificing a strong and whacked-out sense of humor. They know that a smile is still essential for survival in today’s world. Their playfulness couldn’t have been better exemplified by their handmade getups: strategically cut neon leotards, boots made for walkin’, and straight-outta-Microsoft-Paint-pattern tights. It was as if the Powerpuff Girls got lost in the Forbidden Zone and emerged fifteen years later to teach the world what they had learned. They simply would not be the band they are without the emphasis on style—when they’re not touring, they keep a weirdo-techno-whack-out-chic fashion line that got featured in Vogue. But in all their visual tomfoolery they never once sacrificed their brains or their guts.

CG8
CG8

The set ended with the girls giving up their guitars and playing around with synthesizers, one of which looked like an orange cartoon cat. (I saw the same exact one while walking past the toy section at Target the next day.) Guitar player Veronika sang a little diddy about wanting to be things such as Paris Hilton and a calculator. And then, it was over. It was genuinely sad to see them have to step off stage; I could’ve taken an entire night of them I was so fascinated.

Luckily, the next set from Texas based hard rockers Pussy Gillette brought a similar spirit of raw and brazen intensity. From her appearance alone, frontwoman Masani Negloria, whose first name is a reference to the gap between her two front teeth, is potentially the most badass person in existence. She radiated supreme cool with an italicized capital C-O-O-L in her leather ensemble and awesome throwback afro. In a perfect world there would be a cult film where she and the CGs have an epic B-movie cacophony catfight battle of the bands, but alas, this is no perfect world. When she took the stage, she only doubly proved her C-O-O-L: her voice is a strikingly unique snarl that perfectly suited her in-between song banter, and she plucked the strings of her bass so fast her hand was constantly a blur. Each song in itself was an infectious blast of garage rock realness, with lyrics touching on everything from the cruelty of police brutality to a smorgasbord of bananas, hammers, and lettuce wraps. The Gillette set was a sonic burst of pure energy perfectly capable of obliterating the front door of your parents who are worrying where they went wrong when you started listening to bands that alienate the neighbors so with their awful racket. Yet I would bet that the band members wouldn’t be against sitting down with those frightened adults for a quick lunch and try to have a constructive conversation, bridging the cultural divide. It’s all about unity for them—unity under good music and good, not-so-clean fun. And extremely fresh H2O to swig between songs. Don’t we all deserve something fresh?

Pussy Gillette
Pussy Gillette

I had pretty much decided after Pussy Gillette wrapped up that there was no way that the rest of the night was going to match the two sets I had just witnessed. The rest of the crowd, however, had only just begun. Having stood right next to the dance pit the show of theirs I saw in D.C. last year, I knew that headliner Surfbort’s fans are quite the intense bunch. That spirit had seemingly only intensified in the three or so months since then. The moment Dani Miller stepped on stage, I physically felt a distinct shove as people started to crowd around, signaling that things were about to get wild. They did. I found myself getting jostled around by the overexcited crowd, caught in the outskirts of their mosh pit ritual to their rainbow-mulleted goddess. At one point I ended up against the stage right in front of the leftmost guitar player’s pedals—a very good spot—entirely due to getting practically shoved into it. I stayed there for a bit warring with my digital camera’s dying battery—pics or it didn’t happen—until I started getting jostled around over and over again. At that point I just stopped trying to keep up with the dancers and slipped away to a safer region of the crowd off to the side.

Surfbort

By that time in the night, I was less concerned with partying it up than I was with digesting the two acts that had just blown my mind. Despite seemingly existing on two opposite sides of a spectrum—the extravagant and the stripped down—both groups had important things to say, and they said them by inviting all spectators into the weird little curated tune worlds of their creation. Furthermore, these multimedia approaches aren’t restricted to their live shows. When you take a look at anything CG8, you’re falling head first into a psychedelic, digitally warped dimension to swim around in amongst the glitchy artifacts and cute girls. And when you watch a Pussy Gillette music video—they’re all filmed on old school VHS tape—you feel as if you’re watching a clip that has circulated for decades in the coolest sects of the revolution rock underground to much militant punk approval. And seeing these groups do their thing makes you feel as if the “classics,” all those bands that everyone loves decades later despite no one caring in their heyday, are here for you in full force.

And, suddenly, it’s as if there are groups that go against the grain of flash-in-the-pan trendiness to form their own multidimensional brands driven by progress, not stagnation or regression. It’s as if there are still true artists out there, brandishing their sonic weaponry as a guiding beacon for the outcasts, the delegated dregs, the perpetual aliens who are urging for something truly new. And as someone who happens to be one of those perpetual aliens, fed up with monotony and the systematic dumbing down of the mainstream, last Saturday’s event was one of the most satisfying things I’ve witnessed live in a while.

Me and Lida of CG8
Me and Masani of Pussy Gillette
Me and Chase of CG8

Fun-MUN

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

Last weekend was my second excursion to Fugaziland, otherwise known as Washington, D.C. Instead of engaging in punk rock rambunctiousness like last time, I had a much more formal mission: my first Model UN conference, the North American Invitational Model United Nations. I had always been interested in Model UN, but I never embarked on it until the beginning of the current school year. I’m very glad I did. Never would I have thought I would have an experience like I did at this past conference before I started college.

I wasn’t used to being around people my age who weren’t the same people I saw every day at school, and it was a little strange how everyone looked so familiar yet so unfamiliar. But I got used to my surroundings quickly. I joined the crowd of gussied up teenagers checking their notes and crossing their fingers, and I fit right in. Transplanted from my usual surroundings into a swanky Hilton hotel, I found myself representing Hong Kong in the C40 Cities Climate Leadership Group, working with other high schoolers to tackle the problem of urban greenhouse gas emissions. It was a lot less nerve-racking than it sounds, especially considering that the real world implications of those decisions weren’t actually weighing on us. It was a fascinating and enriching time hearing the stances of everyone else’s assigned city, which resulted in some heated debate despite the general consensus that climate change equals bad, and working out alliances and plans. Many sixty-second speeches were given and many notes were passed.

Our committee meetings were spread across four days with plenty of time to explore the hotel and the surrounding city (within the radius designated by our advisors) in between. On Friday my school’s delegation took the metro to see the Capitol building (from a distance) and the Washington Monument (which I got to lean against). It was slightly surreal being where a homegrown coup against democracy had been attempted, even if it was from afar. When you spend so much of your life picking up on worldly events from afar it’s interesting to find yourself at Ground Zero, even after everything seems to have settled. I felt similarly watching the news about Russian escalation in Ukraine on the flatscreen in my hotel floor’s lobby while waiting for the extremely congested elevators. So many monumental changes happening while everything else in life seems to remain just as it was…I read a good Tumblr post about this phenomenon the other day—diary entries from the past casually mentioning the beginnings of large-scale wars and man’s landing on the moon beside daily routines and boy gossip. There’s more than two sides to every story, I guess.

At least, the metro looked gorgeous.

But at the conference I didn’t feel like I was just sitting idly by while everything happened around me all at once. I had a role to fulfill and duties to undertake, and I engaged in them successfully. On top of that, socializing was easy considering that almost everyone else was a stranger. I met people from New Jersey, California, Mexico, and Puerto Rico to name a few, and everyone was friendly and open. No matter where we came from or what our committees were, we were all united by the same purpose: to solve some problems and flex some mental muscles. That uniting factor really opened up my horizons much more than being trapped in a high school I never made where everyone else has been BFFs since their elementary years. And in the end, through these alliances and plenty of teamwork, it did really feel as if we had gotten something done when our draft resolutions passed. We had shown our ability to take responsibility and work together. It was a truly liberating experience in every sense, and I almost wished it didn’t have to end.

The day after I got home, it was abnormally nice out, nice enough to take a walk through the neighborhood in a three-quarter sleeve cardigan and my favorite leather-y jeans. If only the weather had been so agreeable down in D.C. It was brisk the entire time we were there, and the winds almost bowled me over as I stalked the street down from the hotel for Thai food that Saturday. I didn’t actually think my group would be leaving the hotel throughout the weekend, so I didn’t pack a coat or gloves. I made do by layering the three blazers I’d brought along. I think it’s going to be a hip winter fashion trend next year for those who follow the philosophy that “beauty is pain.”

The attire of champions.

But upon returning home, I got to crack open my bedroom window (in February!) and let the fresh air float in without freezing to death. There’s something about the spring air that stirs something inside of me, that end of seasonal dormancy. It makes me feel as if things are happening as opposed to having to wait for the world to unthaw. I know things are happening for me, no matter how frustrating life may be at times. In the next few months, my concept of normalcy will be changing, and it will resemble the freedom I experienced last weekend more than what I’m going through now. I couldn’t be more jittery—in the best way possible, that is.

Ar[rrrgh]t

Wednesday, February 9th, 2022

Last week in one of my classes I participated in a discussion on whether or not art should be considered important during turbulent times. Unfortunately, it became a reminder of how warped some people’s interpretations of the world are. According to some, in times like these, art should give way to other, more important things. What exactly these “more important” things are was not elaborated on. Funnily enough, they also clarified that, despite its lack of importance, art is also a luxury, which is why it is not needed all the time. Hence, art both holds value and is lacking in it.

If these people had opened their eyes, they would notice that art practically suffocates us everyday. The clothes on your back, the car you drive, the building you live in and the buildings you wished you lived in, the fancy garbage can in the kitchen that has a foot pedal to flip the lid open—all of that had to be designed by someone. You can go to a museum gallery or you can go to Times Square—you’re getting an eyeful of art either way, and it influences the world in many ways. Life does imitate art, after all.

Throughout my entire life, art has been a defining force in shaping my worldview and introducing me to new ideas. Being trapped inside for months due to the pandemic only strengthened my appreciation for it. Art has whisked me away to weird and wonderful places that revel in the absurd and tickle the funny bone. It has also grounded me in reality and reminded me of the essential work that still needs to be done. It’s motivated me to express myself in my own ways and take action where it is needed; it’s connected me to likeminded people and pushed me to go places I never would have thought to go to otherwise.

I know from experience that the best art is art that serves as a call to arms, challenging the mind and encouraging action. It can do so silently or with immense fanfare. It can fight back against the boot that kicks the outcasts and inspired dregs of society with a bang; it can upend entire social orders momentarily without anyone knowing unless they stop for a second and think. Often times, art is the only force of true change in a world of stagnation drained of hope. It’s a refuge from the soul-crushing monotony of the daily grind to think, If that person has the gall to do that, maybe I can, too! It’s a healthy alternative to giving up. And that thought process can translate to true impact if one lets it; it can set off a chain reaction. If one person can change their outlook on the world or the way they go about their day because of a song they heard or a book they read, that’s great. If someone can pass that mentality on to someone else who can pass it on to more people who can pass it on across the globe, forming networks of connection and camaraderie, that’s incredible. That possibility is art’s greatest power. It only depends on how one uses it.

So, does art have value in these trying times? I argue an emphatic “yes.”

Twenty Twenty Twenty One Hours Gone

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

Jeez, how did this year go by so fast?

In the midst of the chaos of 2021, it was actually a great year for me on a personal level. I remained dedicated to my studies and hobbies despite a worldwide pandemic and repeated human fallacy telling most people that giving up is the better option; I was able to go out and actually do things after a year indoors, meeting people I have always wanted to meet and going places I have always wanted to go; I started this here blog. I can tell that the person I am has become more mature and more realized, due in no small part to support from all the people I have connected with and the experiences I have had along my way. I’m grateful for all of it, and I know I personally wouldn’t want a do-over…

…even though the world could really use one. If this year proved anything on a major scale, it was that we as humans are all still self-obsessed, anxious, confused little babies with false concepts of freedom and liberty implanted in our heads, acting on our base impulses. Every headline about humans ignoring COVID safety protocol and media pundits taking advantage of ignorance for their own selfish gains has been more agonizing than the last. The Omicron strain doing its very un-sexy thing doesn’t help. I received my booster shot on Monday—and that’s after two jabs and a minor bout with the ‘rona—but I’m still a human. And humans are as resilient as they are fragile.

But then again, every year is its own strain of hell; COVID just made the flames higher and the stupid crap stupider. Being able to recognize that certain things are, at their core, extremely stupid and laughable is a really crucial part of making life somewhat enjoyable. And I sure did a lot of that last year!

So what does this year have in store? For me, it means escape—escape to the college of my choice and a chance to start fresh. It’s the only thing that seems certain when it seems like the ability to do anything exciting is based entirely on how reckless other humans want to act on any given day. It’s hard thinking about the future when things seem so murky. In the meantime I’m trying to follow the advice assorted elders push upon me: savor this time while you still can.

The mask mandates that are repealed or disregarded…the underlying shiftiness of newfound lukewarm winters…the recklessness of humankind on display everywhere from the grocery store to the Facebook feed…the creepy fake ducks I saw in a (most likely man made) pond outside a developed community I drove by last weekend…varying states of growth and regression, evolution and de-evolution…what a weird, fascinating time to savor.

Happy 2022!

Smooching The Moon

Tuesday, October 19th, 2021

It really does feel like time is a human construct sometimes. A month ago I was navigating train lines, electronic refrigerator doors in drugstores, and music festival crowds in Chicago, yet it feels like a lifetime ago. I have a long awaited trip to Cleveland and Akron in less than a month, and the wait feels like double that. In the meantime my schedule has been fuller than ever. It is as exhausting as it is worthwhile, and it feels like everything now is in preparation for the future. Whether that future is near or far depends on the situation.

A big part of my busy day, as always, is observing other humans, which is hands down one of my favorite hobbies. There’s nothing more fascinating than examining the personas people form in both real life and the digital world. There’s a lot of dichotomy involved with reacting to what others do. Example: knowing that there are couples whose supposed ultimate fairytale courtship moment of Luv included the phrase “I AM WEED” makes me simultaneously lose all faith in humanity and gain hope that I’ll someday find a boyfriend. It’s all about trying to maintain a positive mindset in depressing times. If even the most delirious, vapid, overindulged humans can find mates, that opens up a lot of doors for the rest of us. And you’re going to have to make judgments if you’re going to get anywhere. Too many people act as if they aren’t “judgmental” as if judgment isn’t an innate component of human/animal nature. Deciding that funky smelling milk isn’t safe to drink is as much a judgment as choosing the people you choose to surround yourself with. Some people are entranced by the stench of that rancid milk. If observation has taught me anything, humans are often very flawed creatures.

Asserting yourself and the things you associate with opens the door for others to make judgments about you. Too many people hide their best traits out of fear; too many people cover up their flaws to pass under societal radars. It makes you feel almost grateful that there are people so proud of declaring that they are, in fact, weed, because at least they’re being honest. This makes it easier for the rest of us to make correct judgments and stay as far away from them as possible. It’s going to be refreshing to indulge in some freedom of expression with people who aren’t afraid to be themselves and aren’t marijuana courtship string bean swamp creatures in the process.