Posts Tagged ‘college’

There’s No Trains To Heaven

Wednesday, December 13th, 2023

Things I made this semester: A just barely 19 page long historiography paper. An accompanying 7 and a half page long research proposal with 22 page long annotated bibliography because I found too many interesting sources and had too much to say about them. An 8 page long paper about seditious speech that could have been a little shorter but I had too much to say about that, too. One data research analysis report (with accompanying fun bar graph). A basically functional, entirely responsive website with 7 individual pages (which I’m still putting the final touches on). In between all of this I recorded an eleven song album of nuclear reactor core folk ditties, all by my lonesome.

T’was a good semester.

I also changed my major. Again. This summer I’d declared a second major in history to go with my studies in emerging media and technology with a minor in web design. But I wasn’t too sure about the latter degree. Part of why I was clinging to EMAT was plain ol’ fear, to be completely honest. Not a crippling or conscious fear, but the oft-restated assumption lingering in the back of my head: it’ll make you marketable. If you get a bachelor of arts, you’ll either be out of a decent job or trapped in the stressful, low-paying world of education. Get that ~science~ certificate in your life and you’ll be rolling in that dough and not destute, unlike those silly B.A. kids.

Well, I don’t necessarily agree with that train of thought. Having had the concept of “STEM” shoved down my throat in even middle school, I’ve grown critical of the importance we place on those fields specifically. As vital as technology and science are, you also have to realize that the social sciences are just as useful to, well, society. Yet such fields are looked down upon. No wonder people nowadays are barely capable of critical thought, take everything (especially media) at face value, and barely know the basic facts about their own country’s past. It’s because we condition kids to doze off in their classes and not take education on any level seriously, especially not the subjects associated with boring, stuffy things like reading and interpreting and thinking. Too much hard work, let’s rah-rah the football team instead.

Learning history and connecting it to the present is one of the most important things you can do to become a more aware citizen, and it’s time we stop pushing this culture of self-consciousness over what people think of us because of our degrees or careers and actually work on ourselves to actually get some informed participation in society. As for the career part, my workplace on campus is proof enough to me that studying history can get you a fulfilling job that lets you utilize the skills you honed and information about the wider world you picked up in your studies. It helps you connect with people and their past experiences. It helps you contextualize the world you currently live in. And by studying things objectively, it helps you become a more logical person less swayed by disgusting propagandic appeals to emotion. It just helps you become a better person. Realizing that that is the path I want to take, as opposed to sticking with a major I just wasn’t fully jiving with in the name of some enigmatic ideal of making my chosen institution proud or something, is very freeing.

The web design minor is staying because I just genuinely love twiggling around with my little HTML and CSS files and applying my graphic design Skillz in that manner. On the other hand, I’ve picked up another minor: creative writing. I’ve always taken my writing abilities for granted; I’m a great writer, I’d say. But only now have I really felt empowered (to use a cheesy term for lack of a better one) to express it in a creative way – and not just in the songwriting department. I think I felt for a while that I had to suppress my “creative” side in order to appear serious to…I don’t even know who I was trying to appeal to. But my brain has been firing off in too many directions lately, and has been too inspired by the world around me and my various influences to let my individual perspective linger in the background. I gotta do me.

So I went from English while enrolling –> Journalism because I was under the assumption that all the English majors were going to be Swifties –> Public Relations for a few weeks because I had no idea what I was doing –> Emerging Media and Technology with web design concentration –> History + EMAT + web design –> History major + web design minor + creative writing minor. That’s a really weird and still incomplete circle, but it’s fun to think about.

Monday, September 4th, 2023

https://www.news5cleveland.com/news/local-news/this-is-weird-former-kent-state-instructor-accused-of-painting-student-faces-like-clowns

What the fuck? Like, seriously, what the fuck. Now I know why the halls of my dorm smell like raw sewage. His specter still haunts our stomping grounds.

Additionally, if you’re going to be inflicting your weird fetish on vulnerable young people, at least be good at it. Nightmare fuel…on numerous levels.

Wednesday, August 30th, 2023

First Chick tract of the year acquired today, and the second one that’s been actually handed to me. “Friendly” guy on the bus must’ve seen my Doc Martens and corduroy jacket and assumed (correctly) that I was cavorting with the absence of God.

Sing Sing

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2023

Already distracted enough from the PDF textbook I’d gotten sidetracked from reading, I heard an intense, booming voice emanating through the decades old brick walls of the Student Center. From the second floor, I quickly packed my things and rushed outdoors to its stairwell balcony, searching frantically for the source. Was it some crazed preacher taking advantage of the warm weather to force his fire and brimstone speech upon impressionable youths? A local madman ranting and raving his personal truth? Yet another student protestor, this one armed with a more boisterous tone than usual? I had to know. I had to meet this man.

Turns out it was just some dude filming a (vertical!) video for The Internet. Why must today’s unapologetics be the most conformist?

Everything’s Explodin’

Thursday, May 11th, 2023

Last night Tumblr decided to slip my feed some post regarding the anniversary of the Kent State shootings claiming that liberals wanting gun control is ACKTUALLY disrespectful to the students who died that day because they weren’t armed and not wanting people to have access to military grade weapons obviously means wanting the state armed to the teeth and honestly, that utter mental gymnastics bullshit barely phases me anymore. The amount of mental effort you have to put in to make yourself look so “owning” when you’re actually just an awful attention whore…is completely antithetical to the logical facts of how the world actually works. And I have the privilege of not having to pay attention to people who only want my outrage. I can laugh at them and go on my merry way focusing on what is actually important to my life and self betterment.

Most of last week was spent focusing on the May 4 commemoration, and it was probably the most overwhelming and valuable time of my life. Standing before a crowd of dedicated people, young and old, and getting to use my voice. Getting swarmed with messages of hope and support as a result. Connecting with so many kind, caring, fascinating individuals throughout the week. Working my tail off and juggling so many factors the entire time. It was extremely rewarding. Now I’m back home on a well deserved summer break. I’m feeling accomplished and more excited than I ever thought I’d be for next semester to start up. (Maybe some time I’ll eep out a more comprehensive recount. Who knows.)

Throughout my freshman year, I knew there was plenty I still had left to learn. Last week proved to me that there is even more for me to learn than I ever could have expected. It’s a pill I’ll have to swallow while everyone around me is monitoring my intake as good ol’ Senate Bill 83 aims its security cameras at me and everyone else. But it’s a dedication I’m willing to make, because it is how I want to spend my time, and I know firsthand that it is good for me.

And the last thing the powers that be want someone like me to do is spend my days doing something so invigorating.

Rend It It’s Yours

Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

Campus is a-changin’. Jesus Christ on a stick, I just got here. Deep breaths.

Every time I see something about some change happening here, I generally roll my eyes really hard because it’s 2023 and we’re still in the middle of the “2018-2020″ phase of this whole “master plan” they’ve got for campus. Thanks, COVID. Thanks, recession. And thanks, university administration, for your persisting zeal, which is fascinating to observe. The shiny new map of campus they plastered up on the first floor of the library has their projected business building on it, even though I have seen “it” from a distance multiple times and “it” is nowhere close to even being considered an unfinished building. I’ll be able to watch the construction up close next semester since it’ll be right next to Verder Hall, where I’ll be cooping up without a roommate or AC. I literally thought that building was supposed to be demolished this year.

The final result of Big Business Hall (actually Crawford) is supposed to look something like this, with creepy prison-drawbridge bunker White Hall apparently totally unchanged to its left:

image

Tree City, amirite? I love how quaint campus is.

Anger inducing sterile boring grassy fields aside, a headline from our own Kent Wired about campus evolution caught my eye in that it was very distinct from any superficial flex of size, power, or fleeting modernity. It was actually based on changing the curriculum itself. It was about the First Year Experience course that help the adorable freshmen-I should know-acclimate them to campus. Next semester, they’ll be rebranding it as Flashes 101, which I’ll admit is a pretty adorable name.

The thing that sticks me out about this new version of the class is that, this time around, students will be able to choose between sections that are specific to their area of study, like the section I had to take, or general sections that include peers with a mix of interests. In my experience, being grouped with students within my major’s college ended up only benefiting me on a personal level, not a social one. My FYE professor was actually the dean of the college my major was located within, and it was really beneficial having such direct access to her and her enthusiasm as I considered different options of what it even was I wanted to do with my education.

I did not have the same lasting effect with any of my peers who were taking the class with me, however. That’s no one’s fault, but it does confirm my belief that defining people by and grouping them together based on one loose and pretty much non-defining factor doesn’t mean they’re all going to be best friends forever. Facts of life, you know. I also ended up changing my major twice last semester, though I was located within the same college every time. Had I been even more questioning and veered off into another college or area of discipline entirely, I might have felt like I didn’t belong alongside everyone else.

Part of what excited me most about college was meeting people different from myself. And by being fascinated by what made people different from the rest, I was able to find the people I’ve clicked with most so far. I hate interacting with humans, but when you find someone you’re actually excited to allot time out of your schedule for, it’s the best feeling in the world. And then maybe on another day you overhear someone in your Media, Power and Culture class say that he doesn’t pay any attention to the news or politics and that he only pays attention to football, and you can’t believe how anyone could live life like that. And it makes you feel a little more confident in a part of yourself you might’ve questioned in a world gone mad.

College is inherently fucked up, and it can be oddly isolating when schedules don’t match up or disintegrate entirely. But that’s why it works. It gives you the superficial comforts of “You Belong Here” posters and tag along friends from high school (unless you’re me), and then it throws you into the arena of self reliance, self confidence, and self advocating. You will find community and solidarity, and you will also find spontaneity and the people who you strive to be the exact opposite of in every way possible. And the beautiful thing is that here at Kent State, we all have our own ways of being “the worst kind of people we harbor in America”, as per one Governor James Rhodes. The good and the bad are definitely both teasing away at my comfort zone at any given moment. The mindless bus rides, the hard walks through rain and snow, the late night study sessions, the frat parties, the emphasis on legacy, the gentrification. The supposed fact that downtown apparently needs two goddamn smoothie bowl places for some reason. Humanity in all of its facets is at both its dimmest and  its brightest in College Town USA, and that will never cease to wow me.

College is all I wanted it to be and everything I didn’t think to dread all at once, and I just might love that.

Skooled

Sunday, January 29th, 2023

It’s really weird thinking about how you’re probably in the minority of students at your school who truly try to immerse themselves with their campus and the local area. So many people it seems just go home on weekends because they live close by. My mom made sure I knew how to do my own laundry before I shipped off to school; I wonder how many kids even use the laundry rooms in their dorms.

The other day I accidentally stumbled upon the blog of a girl who is also an honors freshman here, and she actually used not having a car as her reason for rarely going downtown. Yet she rides the bus to go to classes, so she must know it goes into the heart of downtown, right? For me, college is my time of independence and exploration, whether it’s in terms of trying out interesting classes, seeing what’s happening on campus, and trying out restaurants in town. I’m glad I’ve got the ambition to go out of my comfort zone like that.

10/16/2022

Sunday, October 16th, 2022

I’m blogging…OUTSIDE. The weather here has been bearable, even though snow is scheduled for Tuesday. I’m sitting in this chair outside the Honors College that has “fuck you” faintly carved into one of the armrests. There’s a name also craved underneath, but it’s too hard to make out. An extremely yellow leaf just blew off the tree a few feet away from me and smacked me in the face. It’s quite a rainbow looking at all the nature around here. They don’t call it Tree City for no reason, unless they decide to make everything Esplanade flat and perfectly mowed and boring.

Taylor Hall is a glance away. I was sitting on Blanket Hill facing the old victory bell a few minutes ago, but I couldn’t concentrate on blogging just sitting on the ground. Quite a few people have been walking by looking at the unfinished memorial and the May 4 informational signs today. It’s pretty much always older people, no matter which side of Taylor you’re facing.

I think about that a lot, and the more I see how this campus functions, the more I feel that urge to enact some change. Things feel frozen in time here, and to be frank, it’s not in a good way. The weather might be okay for a cardigan, but I feel like too many people here are frozen in ice cube trays of apathy and acceptance. When people are encouraged to take action, they rarely do. On a general level, depending on the world view of whoever you’re asking, the only way to make change is to either vote for someone who doesn’t truly represent you or risk your life marching in the street and relying on buzzwords. They rarely tell you that there’s room for sneaky introverts in that process. And that sneaky, introverted work, the subversive work, the work that fits my style the most, is often the hardest.

Hell, half of the time the people who are rallying the most for change seem dismissive of the prospect of change actually occurring. There’s an exhibition of letterpress prints in Taylor right now, and some of them are truly amazing. There’s something so satisfying about a good letterpress design, with the jumbled remixed letters and strong colors. There’s just nothing better. But when I was walking through the exhibit the other day, one of the posters on display, frankly, made me angry. It was very post-Roe hopeless. All the text was about how women have the “freedom” to die of an ectopic pregnancy and be incubators and the like, topped off by the declaration, “so much freedom!” Like I’m going to let anyone tell me what I can do with my body. You make change by just not letting people do nefarious things to you. Or, alternatively, you make it by letting yourself do the things that you know are the best, even if they are unpopular. Both of these types of defiance can be very hard, especially the last one, and neither get you many political brownie points. You get those points by beginning and ending at complaining. That changes nothing. Speaking, writing, creating art and music, holding events, educating others, proving other people wrong is how you change things. You have to show that you own them when they try to own you.

With this in mind, no matter how hard it is to accomplish, I’m really hoping to skew the ratio.

Tuesday, October 4th, 2022

Kent State’s bible thumpers are really leveling up their pamphlet game. A whole little book! That takes some amount of coin. And crazy.

As evidenced by this morning, their battle plan can also be best described as “divide and conquer.” And boy, did they conquer.

I had heard from some not-so-religious friends that they were handing them out by the MAC center, so I had to see what they were up to. Two of them were in front of the aforementioned building while another one was further closer to the Student Center.

I saw the former two chatting with each other in the moment right before the one closest to where I was walking reached out to me with a book, so I can only assume they were noting which one would be responsible for helping save my bleach-blonde soul.

After a brief stop in the Student Center, I took a semi-sneaky way around the Move The Gym annex in an attempt to avoid them on my way back to my dorm.

Ran into another one. A kid in a hoodie was seemingly denying his offer, but my iPod was turned up too loud to make out any discussion. I walked by as quickly and silently as I could.

In search of food, I was hoping the Design Innovation Hub would be a safe haven from campus creeps. Nope.

ANOTHER one of ‘em, brown suit and all, right in front of the main entrance with two others hanging out on the esplanade in the distance. Luckily the brown suit guy was too distracted trying to turn over some other chicks and I slipped by. He was still there when I took the long way out after my coffee and Rice Krispies.

We really do need a secular club on campus.

Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

Walking through campus with a warm cup of coffee in my hands listening to Sleater-Kinney on my iPod getting to wear my jacket for the first time here because it’s my first ever windy fall-like day on campus felt pretty RAD.

DEVO weekend report coming when my two writing assignments that are actually getting me a grade get wrapped up.