Last night Tumblr decided to slip my feed some post regarding the anniversary of the Kent State shootings claiming that liberals wanting gun control is ACKTUALLY disrespectful to the students who died that day because they weren’t armed and not wanting people to have access to military grade weapons obviously means wanting the state armed to the teeth and honestly, that utter mental gymnastics bullshit barely phases me anymore. The amount of mental effort you have to put in to make yourself look so “owning” when you’re actually just an awful attention whore…is completely antithetical to the logical facts of how the world actually works. And I have the privilege of not having to pay attention to people who only want my outrage. I can laugh at them and go on my merry way focusing on what is actually important to my life and self betterment.
Most of last week was spent focusing on the May 4 commemoration, and it was probably the most overwhelming and valuable time of my life. Standing before a crowd of dedicated people, young and old, and getting to use my voice. Getting swarmed with messages of hope and support as a result. Connecting with so many kind, caring, fascinating individuals throughout the week. Working my tail off and juggling so many factors the entire time. It was extremely rewarding. Now I’m back home on a well deserved summer break. I’m feeling accomplished and more excited than I ever thought I’d be for next semester to start up. (Maybe some time I’ll eep out a more comprehensive recount. Who knows.)
Throughout my freshman year, I knew there was plenty I still had left to learn. Last week proved to me that there is even more for me to learn than I ever could have expected. It’s a pill I’ll have to swallow while everyone around me is monitoring my intake as good ol’ Senate Bill 83 aims its security cameras at me and everyone else. But it’s a dedication I’m willing to make, because it is how I want to spend my time, and I know firsthand that it is good for me.
And the last thing the powers that be want someone like me to do is spend my days doing something so invigorating.
I’m blogging…OUTSIDE. The weather here has been bearable, even though snow is scheduled for Tuesday. I’m sitting in this chair outside the Honors College that has “fuck you” faintly carved into one of the armrests. There’s a name also craved underneath, but it’s too hard to make out. An extremely yellow leaf just blew off the tree a few feet away from me and smacked me in the face. It’s quite a rainbow looking at all the nature around here. They don’t call it Tree City for no reason, unless they decide to make everything Esplanade flat and perfectly mowed and boring.
Taylor Hall is a glance away. I was sitting on Blanket Hill facing the old victory bell a few minutes ago, but I couldn’t concentrate on blogging just sitting on the ground. Quite a few people have been walking by looking at the unfinished memorial and the May 4 informational signs today. It’s pretty much always older people, no matter which side of Taylor you’re facing.
I think about that a lot, and the more I see how this campus functions, the more I feel that urge to enact some change. Things feel frozen in time here, and to be frank, it’s not in a good way. The weather might be okay for a cardigan, but I feel like too many people here are frozen in ice cube trays of apathy and acceptance. When people are encouraged to take action, they rarely do. On a general level, depending on the world view of whoever you’re asking, the only way to make change is to either vote for someone who doesn’t truly represent you or risk your life marching in the street and relying on buzzwords. They rarely tell you that there’s room for sneaky introverts in that process. And that sneaky, introverted work, the subversive work, the work that fits my style the most, is often the hardest.
Hell, half of the time the people who are rallying the most for change seem dismissive of the prospect of change actually occurring. There’s an exhibition of letterpress prints in Taylor right now, and some of them are truly amazing. There’s something so satisfying about a good letterpress design, with the jumbled remixed letters and strong colors. There’s just nothing better. But when I was walking through the exhibit the other day, one of the posters on display, frankly, made me angry. It was very post-Roe hopeless. All the text was about how women have the “freedom” to die of an ectopic pregnancy and be incubators and the like, topped off by the declaration, “so much freedom!” Like I’m going to let anyone tell me what I can do with my body. You make change by just not letting people do nefarious things to you. Or, alternatively, you make it by letting yourself do the things that you know are the best, even if they are unpopular. Both of these types of defiance can be very hard, especially the last one, and neither get you many political brownie points. You get those points by beginning and ending at complaining. That changes nothing. Speaking, writing, creating art and music, holding events, educating others, proving other people wrong is how you change things. You have to show that you own them when they try to own you.
With this in mind, no matter how hard it is to accomplish, I’m really hoping to skew the ratio.
In the past week, I became the subject of numerous jokes about how I was going to need four blog entries for that past weekend alone—it later multiplied to six—because of all the events that got jam-packed into three and a half weary, weary days. Three days that contained my personal favorite nerd gathering, the DEVOtional, and would go on to comprise possibly the most roller coaster-like weekend of my life thus far.
Welp, after over a week, here it comes.
The aforementioned weekend really kicked off on Thursday (though I had a class the next morning). The members of DEVOtional veteran act Fight Milk, having come in early for rehearsals, found time in their schedule to come down to good ol’ Kent State so I could show them around.
I’ve been seeing Fight Milk at DEVOtional since 2019, and it’s been wild seeing them morph and mutate into what they are now. Not only do they always bring the most extreme amounts of fun, they also really get what DEVO is all about in a way. They are dedicated, and they respect what those old fogies were doing while still maintaining a Gen Z flair. Add that all three of their performers this year were coming from such long distances—lone constant Jackson from Seattle, Tavi from Finland, and Max from San Diego—and it only felt fitting that they should get to see where DEVO all began.
The first up important locale was Governance Chambers, the site of both the “Jocko Homo” music video and DEVO’s second ever show, in the Student Center. Luckily, one of its sets of doors was unlocked and no one was in there, so we slipped in without even a whimper from anyone actually working in the building. URBAN EXPLORATION! It was a great joy seeing the guys be such nerds in there, ESPECIALLY Max, the guy who, you know, covered the entirety of that second show.
They also did some obligatory Mark Mothersbaugh poses:
Before heading into town, I got to show them the site of the shootings on May 4, 1970, which DEVO’s bassist witnessed and credits with being the catalyst of the band. You would figure that the place where DEVO was born, and a place so historical at that, would be at least somewhat noteworthy for people to visit when they’re coming up for the DEVOtional every year. At least we got to do our part.
It was a solemn experience walking down to the victory bell on the commons and looking down on the Taylor Hall parking lot from the perspective of the National Guardsmen who killed four and wounded nine that day. But it was a worthwhile and important one, and all three also enjoyed the visitors center inside Taylor Hall as well, with all its artifacts providing context.
Here they were looking for coin offerings that matched up with 1970 at I believe Allison’s parking space.
We also stalked through McGilvrey Hall, which has some May 4 related displays on its first floor and is generally an incredible time capsule of the mid century in terms of its hallways. We peeked into the auditorium in Cartwright Hall, where DEVO have performed—there was a recital going on!—as well.
After some aimless wandering, we headed down the esplanade into town, got handed some Get Out Of Hell Free cards by some old dude, and made our way towards Water Street, which contains a row of buildings that can be seen in the video for “Secret Agent Man.” More nerd behavior ensued.
When that was all said and done, our next goal was sustenance. Taco Tontos was on the menu. On our way down, we ended up running into a poster for DEVOtional, the whole reason these three nerds were here in the first place. We still don’t know the culprit.
We would then discuss all the secrets of the group’s set list while Tavi ate the best burrito he’d had in his life. Actually, we all ended up getting burritos. What weirdos. How deviant from the norm. Another important lesson realized by these friends: Taco Tontos never disappoints.
We made our way back to the campus one last time so the guys could get an Uber and rest up for Friday’s activities.
It was an absolute blast showing the guys around, and it felt like a natural way to kick off the weekend. For me, it was definitely more than satisfying getting to see Kent State finally get some acknowledgment—especially from some talented nerds who have been finding themselves on the forefront of…whatever this modern battleground is. After all, you can’t go forward without knowing your history.
I’ve been writing annually about what May 4, 1970 means to me for three years now. Fifty-two years since a day that feels all too relevant.
I remember when I first heard about National Guardsmen slaughtering four college kids at a peaceful anti-war protest in Ohio. I would have never expected that I could have been able to contribute directly to keeping the spirit of Kent and Jackson State alive, to honoring a truth that continues to be neglected and slandered.
Receiving this honor leaves me humbled and at a loss for words—and feeling more dutiful than ever.
The fact is is that it is a crucial time in terms of human rights. It’s sickening that only more and more progress is being made to strip humans of the lives they want to live, and as too many seem to forget in our emotionally charged world, the oppression of one opens the door for the oppression of the rest. If, say, reproductive rights are stripped away, what’s next? The right to nonsegregated schools? The right to marry the one you love? The right to live in a world that is not polluted, overcrowded, and disgusting? The right to speak your mind without a gun being pointed at your head?
It’s up to critical thinkers with vigor and skill—like the kids who protested on the Kent State commons that crisp spring day—to stand up against those who tell us that violations of human freedom and autonomy are okay. And as the world becomes bleaker and darker and more repelling and more constricting with each passing day, somebody’s got to be willing to rub some sticks together and try to find a light.
As we march into an uncertain future, we cannot forget our past.
I give my salute to all of those raising awareness of Kent State and keeping the good fight going.
Targeted. 2022. Digital illustration. Created for the May 4 To George Floyd student art exhibition on Kent State University’s Risman Plaza, May 2, 2022.
Kent Let It Go
Sunday, September 25th, 2022In the past week, I became the subject of numerous jokes about how I was going to need four blog entries for that past weekend alone—it later multiplied to six—because of all the events that got jam-packed into three and a half weary, weary days. Three days that contained my personal favorite nerd gathering, the DEVOtional, and would go on to comprise possibly the most roller coaster-like weekend of my life thus far.
Welp, after over a week, here it comes.
The aforementioned weekend really kicked off on Thursday (though I had a class the next morning). The members of DEVOtional veteran act Fight Milk, having come in early for rehearsals, found time in their schedule to come down to good ol’ Kent State so I could show them around.
I’ve been seeing Fight Milk at DEVOtional since 2019, and it’s been wild seeing them morph and mutate into what they are now. Not only do they always bring the most extreme amounts of fun, they also really get what DEVO is all about in a way. They are dedicated, and they respect what those old fogies were doing while still maintaining a Gen Z flair. Add that all three of their performers this year were coming from such long distances—lone constant Jackson from Seattle, Tavi from Finland, and Max from San Diego—and it only felt fitting that they should get to see where DEVO all began.
The first up important locale was Governance Chambers, the site of both the “Jocko Homo” music video and DEVO’s second ever show, in the Student Center. Luckily, one of its sets of doors was unlocked and no one was in there, so we slipped in without even a whimper from anyone actually working in the building. URBAN EXPLORATION! It was a great joy seeing the guys be such nerds in there, ESPECIALLY Max, the guy who, you know, covered the entirety of that second show.
They also did some obligatory Mark Mothersbaugh poses:
Before heading into town, I got to show them the site of the shootings on May 4, 1970, which DEVO’s bassist witnessed and credits with being the catalyst of the band. You would figure that the place where DEVO was born, and a place so historical at that, would be at least somewhat noteworthy for people to visit when they’re coming up for the DEVOtional every year. At least we got to do our part.
It was a solemn experience walking down to the victory bell on the commons and looking down on the Taylor Hall parking lot from the perspective of the National Guardsmen who killed four and wounded nine that day. But it was a worthwhile and important one, and all three also enjoyed the visitors center inside Taylor Hall as well, with all its artifacts providing context.
We also stalked through McGilvrey Hall, which has some May 4 related displays on its first floor and is generally an incredible time capsule of the mid century in terms of its hallways. We peeked into the auditorium in Cartwright Hall, where DEVO have performed—there was a recital going on!—as well.
After some aimless wandering, we headed down the esplanade into town, got handed some Get Out Of Hell Free cards by some old dude, and made our way towards Water Street, which contains a row of buildings that can be seen in the video for “Secret Agent Man.” More nerd behavior ensued.
When that was all said and done, our next goal was sustenance. Taco Tontos was on the menu. On our way down, we ended up running into a poster for DEVOtional, the whole reason these three nerds were here in the first place. We still don’t know the culprit.
We would then discuss all the secrets of the group’s set list while Tavi ate the best burrito he’d had in his life. Actually, we all ended up getting burritos. What weirdos. How deviant from the norm. Another important lesson realized by these friends: Taco Tontos never disappoints.
We made our way back to the campus one last time so the guys could get an Uber and rest up for Friday’s activities.
It was an absolute blast showing the guys around, and it felt like a natural way to kick off the weekend. For me, it was definitely more than satisfying getting to see Kent State finally get some acknowledgment—especially from some talented nerds who have been finding themselves on the forefront of…whatever this modern battleground is. After all, you can’t go forward without knowing your history.
Or an empty stomach.
Tags:DEVO, DEVOtional, DEVOtional 2022, Fight Milk, history lessons, Kent State, May 4, May 4 Visitors Center, my boyfriend, nerds, things I enjoy
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